stupid
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
i dunno why am i here to blog....not sure wut shuld i feel suddenly ....dunno wut shuld i do now....ignoring bout cih presentation ....just feel numbless suddenly...no energy....
i prayed all da years ...hopefully 1 day i can meet them back...if not...i prayed that they r happy n safe....FINALLY!!!! da day has come...i hav to faced it..without knowing wut kind of reaction shuld i give...i just can say...thank god for answering my prayer...n i really appreciate it...although it is not complete..but it is partially...n is also a starting point ...an opportunity for mi to know all bout their life for the past few years....
i also feel soooo happy that moku has backed....n so excited when she called...cant wait to c her....so decided to go makan at 5 after picked mi up from coll...CRINZY is back again!!lol...go makan poridge steamboat...halfway makan received a called from uncle...wiht his blur information...is enuf to shocked mi n drive me crazy....he told mi tat my B was being admitted to hospital..because of 'fat yong tiu'...then i asked him back which hospital....then he said he not sure asked gpa to tok to mi...then i felt a bit suspicious cz why my gpa will know bout him?y he will so kan cheong 1....then my gpa said he dunno asked mi called dad ....then i became more 'err??' then i said nvrmind...despite all da suspicious feeling in mi...i still have da worry in my heart....i said to god...no ...no pls..not so fast....then when reach home oni i know...is all a mistake....is a wrong information...is actually my youngest bro being admiteed to hospital..i was like....cheh....yes...i know i was very bad...as a 'ai ya' sister...just i not yet have any close bond or connection with him yet....it takes time...isnt it? :) o is just an excuse for mi to avoid him....i dunno...
went to SJMC to visit him....saw my dad's action...saw his love to him...nvr seen him doing all tis ting before....i'm like gonna burst....sigh...dunno...a special feeling....hard to explain...
today is da last day for our sem in lab...lol...we took pictures....hoho....so nice..n happy...is da most happy lab session to me today...
being super emotional whenever there is an opportunity for mi to tok with my family...especially to my grandparent...is it so hard to communicate...o i nvr really try to treat them with an open heart...n try to speak slowly n calmly....i dunno....
hopefully this time B wont dissapoint us again....dun disappoint my hope....
