hard decision....
Friday, September 30, 2005
this few days busy finding out bout U applications....U information...courses that suit mi....etc...
for the past few days until this afternoon...i also feel i got a bright hope to join a medicine course...but until this evening i suddenly thought of something....i think back again questions that the counsellor ask me when guiding me write my personal statement...why do you want to be a doctor?if you want to help pp,engineer also can help pp but in an indirect way only....have you done your medical attachment?do you knowbout a job as a doctor?did you take part in any social work???etc .....my answers is either i dunno o no.but of course i got did some community service,stuff like tat la...but not that much....so then she asked mi,so howdo you know that you suitable to be a doctor??i really dunno....al i know to answr is that is my childhood dream...and this is definitely not a good answer for all of the above questions...sigh*
during this period in A-lvl,things suddenly comes to me so unpredictable...such as my result etc...and now,my IELTS,is quite enuf to apply for medicine...but now,i'm starting to think again,i wonder whether did i think it in a serious manner...is it really my final decision...etc...did i consider bout other factors ,etc...so tired.....and worry...trying to sort things out....trying to strive hard to get a scholarship.... really dowan my way to success become a burden for my family as well...but i didnt have the confident to get a good result to get a scholarship...i'm such a no confident person....wonder how am i going to motivate and inspire pp around mi....
suddenly i think of some other courses for me to gain an in-depth learning as well as a better way to know bout medicine course,but i not sure....HAIH~~~wut should i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!help~~~~~~~SOS!!!
have to settle all this application ASAP to uk so that i can concentrated back on my studies as i not yet start revising any subject ...plus,i still din pay attention in class sommo ler~~~die liao....matiakk liao~~~
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
my cultured bacteria---bacillus subtilis
good!!
Monday, September 26, 2005
yeserday went to komomo's garden cafe to celebrate sc's bday...hehe...hope he enjoy it...the atmosphere there quite nice...but the food...erm...hehe...went bought him a t-shirt from topman....hope he like it also..
yesterday @ had a match also...hope that i can go and watch his match....cz very long time nvr see him ' dai hin san sau' mah...hehe... :P
this morning actually i dun have class,but had to go college to see the bacteria that i cultured last friday....-----
basillus subtilis. by right we should see it on saturday...but the lab is close on wekends ma...so have to wait untill monday lor....tat's why the bacteria that i see this morning become clump together....as they grow very rapidly...haha..but quite nice...
after went home i go fetch @...then we went for lunch-chicken rice!!!this guy super love eating chicken stuff!!haha..no wonder he get fat so fast...hahathen later in the afternoon i ask him to bring mi eat asam laksa cz i was so desperate to eat asam laksa since friday.....finnaly,got da chance to eat it today!!haha thanks!!!!
actually just now i ad blog...ad wrote avting tat i wanna tell....but dunno y failed to publish so had to wrote it again...wrote many things....but now lazy to re-type ad...ad not original ad...
yesterday @ told mi to grab da chances to go overseas if i want,....i knew wut was he thinking actually....i guess....but hope to tell him not to worry bout it...cz avthing also not yet been decide right???i havent really made up my mind....moreover i havent discuss this with dad too...the most imprtant is i havent finish my last exam for A level also....no 1 can predict wut result i would get finally ma...right??wherever i go,wherever i am....just hope you have the faith in me, and us.....we ad had the plan for the next 7 years ad,,,,so,no worry...i trust you....and us....i trust it when there is no 1 tat trust us....:)cz i knew we can make it.... ;P mayb i have to stay here ler...hehe...sampat!!
all i hope now is i reaally need to tell myself tat i have to start revising ad!!!cz i was so laxy untill now...i skip a lot of math class recently cz too pig ad....hehe...math and stat i tink not a big pro as i just need to start doing exercises...bio,need to start revise back previous unit as there is a synoptic paper for mi to sit for.....but ,sigh, for chem i relly dunno how...when tat mr.incredible ask us to do question in class i can do....quite ok...but when i wanna read his notes at home i know nthg!!haiz haha...mayb i not yet ready for revision yet....avthing tat i planned to revise also had not been done yet...haihz....so cham/......
yes!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
finally,got back my computer~~hehe..got a lot of things wanna write when i dun hav computer butnow all like too much to express in one shot....hehe
today afternoon actually i ad promise @ to go play bball with him...but when at the school court feel so paiseh to play with @ cz there got quite a number of pro player mah..haha...so i decided to sit on the bench njust watch him play lor....very long long time nvr accompany him play bbal ad...last time i always stand atone side watch him coaching....n play ball.....now feel so good can watch him play again.....makes mi agree wit wut other pp think bout him~~~FAT!!!!haha....really true..
after that at night actually plan to stay at home n watch malaysian idol...halfway watching zh calledup ask mi whether wanna accompany him to his '2nd home' o not which is near his college...then i say yeslor...cz i felt very hungry at that time cz din eat anything since afternoon....then he can accompany mi eat ma...haha...cz @ got dinner...after went to his place thenwe eat at mamak lor...haha.....meet quite a lot of old school frens,...haha...chat untill almost 1 oclock then oni come back....haha
reach home then suddenly feel like wanna blog....cz long time nvr blog ad.....haha....
quite a lot of things happened last few weeks.....but all ad past.....haha.....
yesterday went to 1 u with cy n her frens....to buy sc present...finally we decided to buy a t-shirt from topshop....maybe is because my life circle almost always mixed with college pp now when i go out with cy frens which is from high school...feel like that the way we think a bit different...o mayb i ad changed....they still da same....haha....but feel like a bit uncomfortable lor...
i personally also felt myself changed a lot....physical n mental lor...i always like this....like a 'bian ser long' cz changed along with the pp that i met n the place tat i stay......this is absolutely not a good thing....i hope i'm like a solid rock that wont changed easily even under different circumstances....
i was thinking whether i should try to apply oversea U now o not...i also wanna apply for scholarship...so tat i noneed burdened my father's financial pro....dunno...this is my plan...although i not very closed to him...n alsonot very like the way he act,but i still know to suceed with my own ability....i feel more good....
i wanna apply but i scare my marks wont meet the requirement...i also scare i cant fullfilled the quality to study medicine...i got a lotof worries....im afraid to be reject ...really....n also if i cant get scholarship n my dad cant support my financial...then i cant make it ad....the most important is...no matter how i try to act n say like nthg tat i wanted to go overseas so much also...i feel very hard to be apart with @....cz @ is a part of my life ad.....he is something tat i cant live without...he is my daily bread.. ;) i cant afford to be apart with him....sigh* wutever will be will be ....haih...this phrases always comes to my mind when im facing something tat i dunno ...tat i not sure where it will lead mi too....just to comfort myself...
no computer~~
Saturday, September 10, 2005
hmmp!!!! my computer sent to repair ad...no computer5 so cant blog also...haihz...hmm~~
just got my new hp...hehe* quite happy ler...just can update myself a bit...can take picture.,,..store lotz of songs....
this few days also din touch any bio tim.,...die lioa la....wednesday~~~later still wanna go 1u watch the maid haha...hmmp....i dun tink i will do very well in bio ad la..
today is the most silly day for mi~~at first i tot my new hp got problem with the speaker n also got some problem with the volume cz i cant listen clearly when pp talk with mi in phone.....so i take my phone along n go 1u this afternoon to consult the fella from dr.mobile.....n that guy laugh at mi because i not yet tear out the lcd screen protector tat block the sound.....so stupid mi!!!!
got new hp then non stop asking for songs n snap a lot of picture all around...haha...quite fun...
heart broken~
Friday, September 02, 2005
yesterday night was great!!....
this morning suddenly very miss @....wanna see him today n hug @ in my arms...dunno why..went to college sent an sms to tell @ then ask whether is it possible to meet for a while today.....so deal to hv dinner together.....1st lesson was biology practical,doing some investigation on the reaction of a stimulus....we was instructed to catch a fallen metre ruler without drinking coffee at 1st n measure the distance....then repeat after drank a cup of coffee....yieks!!not really like coffee a lot...but luckily the cofee was not so bad to drink...quite relaxing lesson...n it just last for an hour...
after class this morning R n G plan to to go 1u...so i follow along lor...we went 1u with sj,r,g,& alli,....after walking around n wondering for some time we finally decided to go for vietnam food...then there we go------Vietnam Kitchen.the appertizers not bad...will try again!!haha..
around 330pm i told them that i have to chaoz 1st..cz i wanna pick @ home from college at 430pm..better to make it earlier than to let @ wait...who knows i 457pm ad reach...so have to wait lor...but nevermind ....
next stop was @ house...went to@ house n called mrs J,my dad' recomended english tuition teacher...ask her whether she know bout IELTS o not...i thnk that she dun really know bout IELTS syllabus ..n their exam style...1hour = RM75!!!!!!wahliao~~~~siao mer.....so damn expensive....n 1 shot at least 2 hours ler....haih..i feel my heart sunken ad....no discount~~this is ad a discounted price for mi!!! sai lar!!so expensive .,....how to afford!!wow~~i think i must master 1 of the most popular language in the world...so if i dun hv any job i might as well b a tuition teacher n within 1 day i tink i ad on my way to rich pathway~~really siao~~
haihz...after a while dad call....told mi that mrs J said that my english is very poor....hmm....feel so terrible....like hell....haihs.....if my english very excellent then i no need to find a tuition teacher la!!!something wrong...think i got a lot of money izzit...still dunno wanna take the tuition o not...sommo dad say 'i dunno u ar,u figure it out by yourself'....so non-supportive!!why in da world hv this kind of pp 1!!
then had my dinner with @ .. while having dinner we chi chat something...then suddenly @ say something stupid that i wouldnt want to remember it forever....'dunno'. i also cant predict what is going to happen in the future,,....how can i give a sure n exact answer ler~~stupid!!!
then i feel so upset n nthg to say anymore....then waith untill 7....wanna fetch @ to college for class but wut!!@ say wanna walk to college,....i was so mz...my car like suddenly became a sport car....then i stop infront of him n open up the door say nthg....then sped my car like mad on those busy road..drop him off at his college...then i sped home again....nvr try to drive this way ,like this,before....so fast even there is no space for a car to fit in...housing area also i did da same...i tink my mz level is at near top level....but then when i think back i really feel like crying...reach home only then straightaway went up into my room ...1st time feel scare of light...dowan to turn on the light....cz my world is like the darkest ad....throw myself on the bed n start to cry in the dark like a stupid people....dunno wut is going on !!haihz...@ dunno wut cause mi to choose to b silent....i really nthg to say....i like too burden suddenly...too bad...izzit a bad-mood-day??haihz...
SOS
